RETaC training

Emotion plays a big part in our lives and our relationships. Relation Emotion Therapy and Coaching works with the heart of individual and relationship problems. RETaC resolves unconscious, projected emotions. Effectively and quickly.

With Relationship Emotion Therapy and Coaching we investigate which emotions arise in individuals in disturbed relationships. Male-female relationship, work and family relationships. We use an accurate process to trace unconscious predictions. In such a way that we can structurally change these predictions. And the emotions related to those predictions.

Connection. Intimacy. A family. Children. Feeling understood. Laughing together. Understanding each other. Trust. To be there for each other. Support. Rejection. Sex. To be on the same page. Cheating. Divorce. Blended family. Communication. Start over… “Just some” words that have meaning in relationships.

Do you want to discover how unconscious emotions determine how partners experience and approach each other? Do you want to learn how you can influence unconscious emotions. So that you can interact with each other intrinsically differently? Register now for RETaC training. A unique new approach to inter-relational problems.


Pay attention! Mandatory preliminary training required


RETaC Foundation training online/ live € 1390,-

RETaC for your Relationship workshop in Amsterdam €650,00 individual, €1000,00 with partner

These amounts are VAT-free and therefore the net amount. Training courses are often deductible, please check with the tax authorities / adviser.

The amount includes the following:

  • Training days;
  • Coffee, tea and refreshments;
  • Syllabus;
  • RETaC Foundation certificate when applicable.

The heart of relationship problems

If the heart of relationship problems is formed by unconscious feelings and emotions, then the solution must also be sought there!

How do you unravel unconscious feelings of yourself when you genuinely experience that the other is causing the problem? What can you do with your own feelings if you are engulfed in self-pity? In feelings of rejection, insecurity, self-doubt, or anger? Can you change fears and insecurities in a blended family? Do you need help to stop responding from your emotions or your intuition? How do you stop feeling that your partner is to blame for the problems?

These are very tricky problems for the simple reason that for us, what we feel is the truth no matter what others says about them.

Training and Coaching in RETaC

Do you want to learn the secret behind relationship problems? Are you curious about what hidden information is behind your own feelings? Do you want to give yourself the opportunity to free yourself from negative feelings about yourself or the other? Would you like to discover what hidden treasure is waiting for you behind the pain the relationship is causing? Join the training now. Do you want to work one on one on relationship issues? Then sign up for the RETaC Coaching.

Full RETaC 10 day practitioner training

Would you like to become a RETaC specialist, a RETaC practitioner? You will need to do both the three day Foundation and the 7 day Advanced training. See the program details below and contact us for an application.

Investment: €1750,00

Become a RETaC Coach/ Therapist

After the 10 day practitioner training you can join the 5 day RETaC certified coach/ therapist training. In total you will experience 15 days of the most profound change method and learn how to apply emotional regulation in a variation of circumstances. Joining the RETaC certified coach and therapy training will enable you solve individual and relational emotional regulation issues like you never have before. You will learn what you have been longing for. You will learn how to help people solve their issues in a way those issues will never return. Curious? Contact us and mention you are interested in becoming a certified RETaC coach/ therapist.

Investment: €1500,00

Emotional regulation

Emotions are an intrinsic part of our lives. They make us feel fantastic and they can make us feel hopeless. The power of emotion is huge. When we feel something, we can get lost in it. Feelings and emotions determine ‘everything’. The way we feel about something is the heart of our decision making. Think about it. When something ‘feels right’ we want to go for it. When something ‘feels wrong’ we are in doubt about what to do, or we don’t want it.

To be able to deal effectively with our emotions we need healthy emotional regulation. If that is not the case, we can feel stuck, experience negative emotions, and have disturbing relationships as they influence how we experience ourselves and respond to others. Healthy emotional regulation enables us to not get stuck in emotions and patterns. It helps to make decisions that are good for us and good for our partners and family. Healthy emotional regulation enables you to feel relief, say sorry, feel free…

What is RETaC about?

RETaC is about individual emotional regulation. With RETaC you learn how to change unwanted behaviors that emerge from how you feel. The impact of that can be life changing because how we feel, determines our daily choices and decisions.

RETaC is about relational emotional regulation. Relationships are the one area where deep emotions emerge. The more intimate the relationship – be it with lover, friend, children, siblings, close family – the deeper the feelings impact us. With RETaC you will rediscover what you truly feel and how you can be part of a healthy relationship.

New method of coaching and therapy

RETaC is about a new method of coaching and therapy. The neuroscientific research behind how our emotional brain works has led to RETaC. Relation Emotion Therapy and Coaching, traces and unravels (unconscious) feeling patterns that regulate our emotions and responses and transforms them into new resourceful felt experiences. Once that happens, our reaction patterns immediately change because their source changed. Not only do you learn to react differently with RETaC, but you feel differently which makes you react differently!

The transformations with RETaC are so profound that many therapists and coaches want to learn about how emotional regulation works, and how that is the key to deep and sustainable transformation. RETaC explains why much relationship therapy, emotional work, advice and techniques do not work when it is needed. RETaC will change the way you think change works!

Keeping a loving relationship

That it can be challenging to maintain a healthy loving a relationship is a given for most people. There is a reason why there are so many relationship counselors.

The controversial Jordan Peterson advises against divorce, no matter how difficult it can be in the relationship. Why? The statistics show that divorced partners with children both get off badly. In a financial sense, in terms of starting a new relationship and in terms of emotions.

In a way I agree with him. Don’t get me wrong, I am not advocating that people should stay in a relationship that causes all kinds of distress. I do think that relationship suffering presents a huge opportunity for both partners. An opportunity to learn to understand something about yourself that is fundamental to ourselves. Because this “something” probably played a role in previous relationships as well. Something that will likely play a role in a future relationship as well.

Relation Emotion Therapy and Coaching

The Relation Emotion Therapy and Coaching foundation training takes three days. Below is a brief summary of some of the topics that will be covered.

Day 1: The neuroscience of emotions

  • You will learn the latest knowledge about how your emotional brain works.
  • And you learn a new theory about how emotions arise.
  • You will playfully investigate and practice the foundations of how emotions arise.
  • You examine your own patterns in relationships.
  • You examine your own feelings and learn where they come from.


Day 2: Mapping relationship problems

  • What basic issues can arise in relationships?
  • What are the problems of a blended family?
  • Why do we blame each other for our feelings?
  • The secret of crisis in a/your relationship.
  • Learning to feel again.
  • You transform patterns in yourself and patterns in your relationships.
  • You will learn how to guide others in transforming deep feelings and patterns.

Day 3: Transform relationship emotions

  • You investigate your own relationship issues.
  • You investigate your own problematic patterns.
  • You will learn how to map relationship emotion prediction loops.
  • You will learn how your relationship emotion prediction loops change, in yourself and each other.
  • You change patterns in yourself that have been playing for (many) years.
  • You discover how to make new predictions together.

Relationship related emotions

Intimacy touches us to our core. In a positive sense when things are going well and in the most negative sense when things are going bad. We have learned in our life how intimacy works through the most important examples in our lives: our parents.

From the second we were born we have been taught what, for example, intimacy is. How to act intimately, what breaks intimacy, what not to do and so on.

We have not learned this consciously. Sometimes we have been told how intimacy works. Most of the time, however, we have grown up in the midst of our unique example of intimacy. Because of what was said and done. And what was not done or said. Whether there was touching or not. And not only from our parents but also the larger system. Brothers, sisters, grandfathers and grandmothers, friends and girlfriends and so on.

All those thousands of experiences have formed a conceptual reality. A conceptual reality that unconsciously shapes our decisions. And this unconscious conceptual reality is the basis for possibly the most important aspect of relationship problems. Relationship related emotions!

Neuro-scientific research

Recent research shows that emotions may be the most important factor in our decision-making ability. For most of us, the feelings associated with these emotions are largely outside of our consciousness. 

Unconscious feelings play a central role in relationship problems. However we experience these feelings and emotions not as ‘our own’. We experience emotions in our relationships as a consequence of the action or inaction of the other person. This is actually a critical (mostly unconscious) mistake. This mistake ensures that the feelings and emotions strengthen. Making them more true and more challenging to change. 

Feelings overrule what you know and understand

Another aspect of the role of these relationship feelings is that neuroscientific research shows that these emotions are very difficult to overrule with our cognition. That explains why so much relationship therapy, advice and techniques does not work when it is really necessary.

Seeing yourself through the perspective of the other. Non-violent Communication. Embracing differences in thinking style. Understanding what “color” your partner is. Communication advice. Family constellations, insight into your attachment style, et cetera. All meaningful things, but when it really comes down to it… relationship emotions overrule what you know and understand. Read more about relationships on the relationship blog.

Wat is RETaC?

Relationship Emotion Therapy and Coaching (RETaC) is not the same as EFT (Emotionally Focused Therapy). RETaC is based on recent neuroscience research by Dr Lisa Feldman Barret. She explains in great detail how our emotions arise and that is not how we have learned that they arise. The source of our emotions lies in one of the most important functions of our brain: predicting what will happen. These predictions create our emotions.

Predicting what will happen

Predictions arise from unconscious physical feelings. It turns out that a large part of our brain is busy drawing information from a (relatively) unknown sensory system: interocepsis. Subtle heartbeat changes, or tensions around organs such as stomach, intestines, throat. Or restlessness in legs, etc., are carefully monitored by the brain. The brain links these (often) unconscious feelings to memories of these feelings. Why? To be able to predict as accurately as possible what will happen.


You can read more about RETaC in this excellent article by journalist and coach Aranka van der Pol.

What is RETaC 2?

This “prediction mechanism” of our brain is very useful. Because by making predictions we can handle new things and experiences very well. However, feelings can also be linked to experiences that consistently make the “worst” predictions possible. And all we notice about this whole process is the end emotion it creates.

Unconscious process

An important aspect of this is that this whole process unconsciously directs us. We do not link the emotions and feelings we experience to the past but to what is happening in the moment. We are also not aware of the origin of the prediction but link our felt experience to the situation or person of that moment.

By accurately modeling how emotions are created in our brain, we have been able to develop methods to work with this neuroscientific knowledge. With RETaC we make the unconscious process aware. And we change the predictions so that the Relationship Emotions also change.

A completely new way of looking at how emotions influence us. And it has been made so simple that everyone can learn to apply these ideas. I have discovered and changed incredibly deep relationship patterns. Still can't believe what's changed.

Barbara Not currently in a relationship


Do you have questions about 1 of my workshops? Feel free to contact me, I’ll be happy to help you.


What do others think?

Wassili gets the best out of people and out of this material! I think he is a fantastic trainer.

– Lucas Derks

Dates and location


Dates & location

Training dates in 2022

RETaC relationship workshop Amsterdam
October 28/29 2022 – Go to page.

The RETaC Foundation online training takes 6 days, from 14.30 till 18.30 CET, and will be held in online


Read Happiness is depressing. Do the exercises!

Accredited by the Dutch Society for Professional Hypnotherapists (NVBH).

Price description

RETaC Foundation live training

3 day RETaC Foundation training international €1390,00
8, 9, 10 September in Amsterdam!

3 day RETaC Foundation training in Athens €1390,00
3, 4, 5 October
You can join us live or online!