Fear of missing out?
Are you at your computer most of the day? Afraid to miss something? Are you (always) distracted by your phone? Do you feel like you are wasting your time with endless scrolling on the internet? Do you fear missing out?
Would you like to feel more satisfied with what you do? Are you seduced by messages on your phone that don’t mean a lot? Would you like to feel more productive, more satisfied with what you do? Want to keep your concentration instead of getting distracted by your phone or computer?
When addiction is addiction
Our compulsive phone or computer behavior is jokingly called “addiction” behavior and we as a society do not find that shocking but actually quite normal. Imagine your phone behavior would be similar to coke addiction. Every time you check your phone or computer, you sniff a line of coke. All day long … what would you think of that?
Most people would find that pathetic or intense. Most people would absolutely not identify with that, but when you have “uncontrollable” behavior, it is officially called “addiction” …
But what happens to us inside when we show behavior that can be compared to “compulsive” or “addictive behavior”?
Your greatest hope
Perhaps against expectations, but we hope to feel “satisfied”. It feels nice to be in a kind of comfort zone. As if you are in a very well-known area, where you feel concentrated and your greatest hope is almost satisfied. The hope that you discover something. That urge is so great, so overwhelming. And every new google page gives that hope, that desire that you as a unique being, discover something … But you never discover “it” and everyone turns out to have seen it already. And yet … you keep holding on to that hope.
I work with a lot of people and also with people who “hope to discover something new” and in the meantime can’t leave their phones unattended. Parents who feel they “are half” parents. Because when the diapers are changed, the mail is also checked… People who are also busy with beeps and vibrations during a meaningful conversation. Because “this could be the most important message.”
Understanding and feeling
Many try to change that behaviour en talk about it regularly. But talking and doing are different things. Just like ‘understanding’ and ‘feeling’. We understand that we should not look at our phones all the time. Our behaviour is exactly opposite. Why? Because we are ‘felt driven beings’, our feelings determine our decisions.
Do you want to learn how to change or even get rid of this behaviour? Do you realise how much time you spend on useless pages on google? Do you spend too much time browsing while finding “nothing” hoping to feel satisfied..?
Looking for help?
Contact me via the Life Coach page. A first appointment can be set up quick. See you then!
Want to know more about how our decisions are driven by feelings instead of our thinking? Go to Relation Emotion Therapy and Coaching for the more about this subject.
Wassili Zafiris
